down in the dumps...

I lost my job last Spring and was hypo-manic all summer so I find myself living on a shoes string with no ADSL or phone. Now I am in the local library. It actually is great fun to be off the grid.

terry's funniest home posts...

i am kind of in the doldrums so i will look back and at my funniest posts so far.

far, far away...

I live at the intersection of two busy streets and the traffic noise can get to me when I am out on my patio. I've found a solution. I wrote a thing last summer about the benficial effects of birds songs on those who suffer from a shizo-affective disorder. Well I've found a solution to the din of traffic: a bird feeding station. Watching the birds who come to eat as they flit about and hearing their chirping and songs takes me far away. I also feed a cat. I love cats and even though he will not come close to me, he can be very entertaining in the middle of the night.

plumbing problems...

I seem to have my anxiety under control. This is the greatest thing to happen in my life time, for it has always plagued me. The only symptom remaining is an urgent need to urinate, which can be embarrasing, and is very ironic, because for years I had lost the ablitity to pee at all. I had to self-catherize. I was prone to bladder infections, which is very unusual in males. During a routine physical my Doctor palped my abdomen and was unable to find my organs. I suppose she assumed there must be an enormous tumour and ordered an ultrasound. This showed the mass was taken up by my bladder. She sent me to a urologist who found that I had lost most of the muscle tone there and when he inserted a chatheter he discovered much to his amazement that my bladder had a volume of four and a half litres! He recommended that I self-cathterize, not an easy procedure, as you can well imagine. Too make matters worse I was forced to do it up to six times a day to avoid infection. This was because many of the residents of the psychiatric boarding home where I lived had compromised immune systems. This was further aggravated by the fact that many of them smoked and some smoked "butts" increasing the probablity that infections would spread, Now that I am on my own I only do it once a day and have only minor infections over the last few years. Last night I did not catheterize with no ill effects except for increased urgency and frequency.While in Respite Care my medications were adjusted which accounts for much of the change but there is more to it. In a contolled environment I learned to be more in touch with my own body. The frequency and urgency started there. During my first stay for the first few days I wore an adult diaper and even after that continued to wet myself and often did not make it to the washroom. Over time the frequency and urgency remained but the incontinence diminished. Now except for the occasional accident, usually involving no more than a dribble, it is in check. I'm sure the root cause is an ultra-sensative urethra. I expect this will heal over time.The only residual effect is a sense of foreboding that the new found relief will not last and because I am socially isolated that my routine will break down and I will crack and lose control. The days are very long and it is hard to stay busy, but so far I am doing okay. Wish me luck!

facebook fiasco...

The Guardiana looks at the ridiclous extent to which people go too to leave themselves open to scrutiny ."Take the case of Maxi Sopo, a 26-year-old criminal in hiding in Mexico who not only used his Facebook status to tell all and sundry what a good time he was having, but also made the somewhat elementary error of adding a former justice department official to his list of friends.
In status updates from Cancun, where the Cameroon-born fugitive was on the run from charges of bank fraud in Seattle, he said he was "living in paradise" and "loving it".."

age before beauty...

I have new idea about age. When I was forty I dreaded getting old and thought I would lose around a step as each year But I just watched a band leader who was a favourite of my mother's when she was in her early twenties. My mother is now eighty. Along with him was the man who introduced me to newspaper columns 45 years ago. He must be in his mid-eighties. Neither is about to run a marathon but they are both sharp as a tack. Other than getting frailer and dealing with more health issues, I think the future is bright. There is a reason that old age is venerated in most of the world.

salmon...

I just witnessed something spectacular. Something I never dreamed I would ever see. There is a bridge close to my a[apartment and in the river undeneath it I've watched a salmon run. Today I watched some Pink Salmon spawn on a gravel. It was a birds eye view which very few get to see. The females were laying their eggs and the males were fighting to see who could fertilize them. Fucking incredible!